Middle school brace face insecurities
Middle-school, brace-face smirks…More happiness on the outside. Feeling completely broken and alone on the inside.
I made it out of my first hospitalization…alive and “better” on the outside (at least according to the doctors and my parents), but “cured?” Far from it. Eating disorder recovery is about FAR MUCH MORE than a number on a scale.
My doctors sent me to nutritionists who prescribed me a steady “recovery diet” of Pop-tarts, Oreo’s, ice cream and peanut butter crackers, coupled with complete restriction from dance and basketball: my two favorite pastimes. In turn, I sunk lower. Not only did I feel awful on the inside, but my life became devoted to the eating disorder (both keeping up with my habits, AND juggling doctors appointments, therapy, hospitals and logistics of “getting better.”). I felt completely alone in the struggle. Like no one understood.
This picture was snapped a week before my parents “surprised” me with a trip to Arizona. Remuda Ranch treatment center to be exact. We got on a plane, and had 10-minutes to say good-bye before they left me for 2-months for the first (of many) inpatient treatments to come “get better”…