True beauty and worth come FIRST and FOREMOST from being at peace with WHO you are, and doing things you LOVE-regardless of what you look like.
ABC News in Houston recently interviewed me for a story (see below) on the evening news about the seemingly eternal struggle to be BEAUTIFUL amongst womenkind.
What is your take on what defines your worth…or what you LET define your worth?
For years, for me…it was the scale. And while I never weigh myself today, I do know there is something about that number that gets to me-regardless of what it is IF I do see it.
Here’s what I have to say to that scale…TAKE THIS!!!
Read on below…
Back away from the scale.
“It helps keep me in check…”
“It assures me I am on track…”
“I’ll go crazy if I don’t know it…”
Back away from the scale.
While a number means nothing more than the amount of gravity holding us down to this earth, it somehow has evolved to possess this odd power over our self-concepts, as well as other daily choices we make—how we view ourselves, our own confidence and worth, whether or not we eat this or eat that, how we feel in our tanktop or swimsuit, if we have peace (or not)…
You step on the scale one day and it flashes a number—and, depending on how you feel about that number, you are either:
- Frustrated! (“Why isn’t it budging?!”)
- Disappointed (“Sigh…I guess it will always be this way”);
- At ease or satisfied…for today (“Phew, in the safe zone another day; you can go on knowing you are A-OK today, but tomorrow, it all depends on what the scale says”)
- Shocked (“How can it be?!”)
Sister, you listen, and you listen closely:
A number does not define you.
Think about this for a minute.
Imagine yourself, walking down the street, or perhaps sitting right where you are at—wherever you are—amongst people in a coffee shop, at your computer at work, on your phone in between here and there, at home—surfing your social media newsfeeds…consider the people around you, or in front of your face on that Instagram or Facebook update…
You see them. You are aware of them. And the last thing on your mind is…what they weigh.
Unless you are an extremely judgmental individual, I highly doubt you pass by that girl on the street and see the number 135 lbs. stamped on her forehead; stand next to that woman in the grocery store and label her at 158 lbs.; check out one of your friend’s latest selfie’s on Instagram and see 115 lbs., before you actually see, notice and acknowledge any of these people.
In other words: You don’t define others by what they weigh.
So why do you define yourself?
You are more than a number—and while a number is a gauge of our general health and wellness, it is simply just that: a gauge.
There are far more telling and authentic measures of health and wellness that have absolutely nothing to do with a scale, including:
- How you feel in your body, in your skin, in your clothes
- Your energy levels and vitality
- Your digestion, hormone balance, immunity
- Your relationship with food and fitness
- How alive your spirit and soul is within you (Do you have joy? Passion? Exuberance?)
- And the thoughts in your head
All of these things, alone and combined, are worth far more weight (no pun intended) than one measly number on a scale.
And the thing about numbers in general?
They are ever-changing…throughout our lives…throughout even a given day.
In the morning, you’re 1-5 lbs. lighter than that evening. Or, you sweat all day in the sun at the football game tailgate? You’re down 2 lbs. On your period? Uppsie daisy. Stressed? That weight is not budging—no matter how hard you try (hello cortisol!).
You will never be the same exact number guaranteed at any point in time, and even if you have a general range in which you feel you are ‘OK’, those numbers are still just a piece of a bigger picture of health.
So now the question turns to you…how do you feel about a number? That number? The number?
And, what does a number really mean to you?
There is a much BIGGER world out there; and if there’s anything I’ve found over the years when it comes to the number on the scale—regardless of what it is (and it’s been ALL over the map—within a 30-40 lbs. swing), is that when my eyes, mind and heart are fixated more on taking care of myself, and digging deeper into my passions and purpose—rather than contorting, concocting, pushing, or beating myself up…the number (and the power that it holds over my life and mind) seems to fade away into the background.
Easier said than done?
Nope. It’s really not.
How to get over the number?
- Throw Out the Scale! Nope don’t tuck it away. Hide it. Give it to your friend or significant other. Put it under the bed or in the closet. THROW IT OUT. Better yet…use a sledge hammer.
- Ask yourself WWMD? (What would healthy me do? In whatever situation or health decision presented…ask yourself what the healthy version of yourself—the girl you want to be—would do in that instance, or around those food choices, or exercise decisions)
- Live Your Passions. Thrust yourself into doing things outside yourself—that inward sense of self-loathing and doom. Instead of wasting time hating on yourself, avoiding social situations because you are self-conscious of your weight, concocting plans to ‘do better’ or ‘get healthier’ or ‘lose/gain the weight’…fill your life and days and time with things that matter (Be it: Your career and career goals, your friendships and being with people, your hobbies or talents, volunteering with others near to your heart, developing new skills you never knew you had, etc.). Not sure where to start? Make a vision board of things that inspire you (you can clip out inspirational phrases, quotes, pictures…and let this visual give you some wind beneath your wings to see what it is that moves you).
- Refine the Art of Self-Care. Have fun with this one. Often times, a battle with the scale involves an ongoing battle with food…fitness…what you can and can’t eat…if you worked out or not that day…hating working out, but forcing yourself to run on the treadmill anyways…counting calories religiously or keeping up with your MyFitnessPal like its your blankie…Food and fitness are meant to be the complete opposite!—life giving! Nourishing! Fun! Begin to view your fitness like recess, or play—like you did as a child. The gym is a playground for adults; and fitness is not just limited to running your days away on some manmade piece of equipment. Likewise, food is not a substance that is ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Food is fuel to empower, enliven, refresh and nourish your body. How can you choose foods that fuel your body like a plant soaks up water and sunlight for life? Lastly, food and fitness aside, how can you refine the mindfulness and soul of your self-care? Create space for breath, peace, reflection, calm, clarity? (In other words: De-stress; Meditate).
Get it? Got it? Good…
First things first…THROW OUT THE SCALE.
The number does NOT define you.