There’s no place like home—even when that home is Miami, Florida.
Today I traveled back to a place I called “home” four years ago for a ‘long’, but brief, time in my life.
I say ‘long’ because the nearly 12-months I spent here in this crazy city felt like an eternity at the time—treatment.
On the edge of death’s doorstep in August 2011, after having fought and battled severe anorexia for 13+ years, I was given one two options:
- Lay in that hospital bed for 6-8 more weeks, on a feeding tube, IV fluids and heart monitors
- Or, enter inpatient eating disorder treatment
Tired of having that uncomfortable feeding tube stuck down my nose for 4-weeks already, I chose the latter, and ended up finding a place with a pretty looking website (in Miami of all places) to set sail towards.
Had you told me any time prior to 2011 that I was going to live in Miami, Florida at some point in my life, I more than likely would have laughed out loud. Miami, Florida? Seriously? The “Las Vegas” of the South East?!
However, fast-forward to today, and I have nothing but a sweet spot in my heart for this city, and more importantly the people and community I met, who played an integral role in my journey to becoming me.
You see, when I arrived to this city, I was a meek, feeble, fragile version of myself. Heck, I was not event myself. I was completely disconnected actually with who I was, what I liked, what I wanted out of life, what my purpose was.
I sought my validation and worth in a number on the scale, the hours I spent in the gym, the number of carbohydrates and calories I consumed in a day (“the less, the better”). I was in graduate school—but had no vision or passion for what I was working towards. I had lots of acquaintances, but no real friends—or at least people I opened up to.in short: I was broken.
While Rome certainly was not built in a day, and my recovery journey did not bring freedom and fruition to these areas over night, during my time in Miami, I began to come to life. Actually, even though my journey for healing and freedom did begin in treatment, it was actually the period of time after treatment that I began to really discover WHO I was, what my passions were and my all-around worth, as I was forced to “spread my wings and fly.”
During this time post-treatment, the world was seemingly my oyster. After an intensive six-months spent at the inpatient center, I was granted the ability to ‘step down’, exiting treatment and begin life outside, in the great ‘unknown.’
Not knowing whether I wanted to go back to graduate school at the time or not, I chose to stay in Miami and to begin my new life there, in order to get my feet wet in the outside world, and think through decisions to be made. I began to establish some roots and footing in a city a far, far way from home, and completely different than any of the other southern-hospitality-minded cities I in which I have lived in to date (including Nashville, Austin and Little Rock). This southern girl quickly became ‘schooled’ in a city where ‘yes mam’ is considered an insult and smiling at a stranger turns heads, in a confused sort of way. I lived in an apartment with a few other girls, who had been in the treatment program with me, but outside of that network, I was really given the opportunity to navigate and channel my own way in my recovery—whatever way that was.
Unlike the past decade, when I would go in and out of treatment, and quickly relapse back to my ‘old ways’ (disgusted by how I felt in my body, in my own skin after a forced quick, rapid weight gain), I made up my mind this time, in particular, that, no matter what, no matter how ‘awful’ I felt, or how low I felt about myself, I was not, could not, would not, go back to my ‘old ways.’ I thought, ‘As hard as it may be, there is not going to be any room for that eating disorder to fully take over my life again—or conquer me.’ I was not going down without a fight.
That being said, life was completely, 100% new and fresh at this point. I remember specifically praying for community, passions to fill my time, direction for what I should do and could do with my new life…and answers came.
During this time, I ended up crossing paths (at my local church of all places) with Guido and Virginia Trinidad—a married couple who owned a local business called Peak 360 CrossFit. I had tried CrossFit out years earlier, and knew it was something I had been interested in looking into, but had no real bearings as to where to do it, or what it looked like in my newfound, recovered life.
As I got to know Guido and Virginia, they also got to know me—and saw my knack and skills for writing, working with people, and organization. They came to me one day, stating they needed some help in the ‘back of the house’—with business management, marketing, public relations and client services duties, and as conversations led way, they offered me the position to come join their ‘family.’
Enter: My CrossFit journey.
I dove in. I started my job at Peak 360 CrossFit days later, and the fun only began.
During a time in my life, when I needed community most, Peak 360 CrossFit—Guido, Virginia, their daughter Veronica, my ‘bros’ Noah Ohlsen and Dylan Malitsky, and the rest of the ‘family’ became my family. During this time, I also began to connect (and re-connect) with my passions and skills for writing, as I kept up their blog, their newsletters, as well as connected with several other CrossFit magazine publications and the CrossFit Games media team as a freelance writer and reporter. (I am a journalist by background). Right time, right place.
Concurrently, during this time, as I began to blossom in my community and my writing, I also became more connected with my church community, social life, and developing a healthy relationship with food, fitness and my body.
As I stated—my journey to freedom, and confidence, in my life ‘outside ED’, really began outside treatment.
While I decided about 7-months later to go back to school and finish what I started (graduate with Doctorate in Occupational Therapy) as August 2012 rolled around, there is an extremely special place in my heart for Miami—and the time, in particular, that I spent as a “Miami-ite”, outside of treatment, submerged in the ‘Little Cuba’ culture, in the unique CrossFit community, and ‘becoming me’—Lauryn without anorexia. My first taste of life as the new me.
This weekend I am back in my old stomping grounds for the 4th annual Wodapalooza Fitness Festival.
For the past several years now, I’ve made a point to make an annual trip to the M-I-A to help out my old ‘family’ with this event, write for the website, and more than anything catch up and see old friends, many of whom still may not know what a HUGE role they played in my personal journey to learning to THRIVE!
You were meant to do more than just survive…you were meant to thrive. Life circumstances will take us down roads we never planned or foresaw—but they all shape us, mold us, and make us into a better person if we choose to put our hands up, and enjoy the ride.
