1 a.m…I couldn’t sleep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!!
After a LONG 72 hours, as my body relaxed, the heart monitors strapped to my chest went off like a fire alarm.
The nurse rushed in…”What’s going on?”
Half asleep and half unconscious…I mumbled, “I don’t know…” As my dad & my mom on a cot by my side rose up, ready for action…
“What’s going on?!” dad asked the nurse.
As all eyes turned to the heart monitor… Beep…30…Beep…27…Beep…32…Beep…25…Beep…29…Beep 33…
And everyone got into action.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“It’s in the 20’s!!!”
More nursing staff & chaos mounting, the room turned into a circus, as they tried to figure out what was going on.
“Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God…” my dad kept saying.
“What’s going on?” I asked again.
2 hours later I was in the ICU: heart rate monitors, more monitoring, more beeping, and doctors talking about cutting my chest open to put in a pacemaker…
While I don’t remember much, I remember CLEARLY thinking and feeling an overwhelming sense of peace.
As if the Lord was saying, “This thing has gotten way bigger than you, and here we are. I’ve got you, but it’s going to be a long ride. Buckle your seatbelt…it’s time…”
1 week in the ICU and 3 1/2 more weeks in the hospital, on my feeding tube, heart monitors, IV fluids, orange juice shots when my blood sugar dropped, bed rest, praying, writing, feeling ANTSY as all get out (to go run and squat and crunch), and more than anything WANTING TO BE FREE!
My Angels came by daily—some to play board games, others to pray, and others to bring a silly smile to my face—while my mom, dad, brother and sister poured out all the love they had.
“Gosh why all this?!” I thought… “I am fine…I’ve got this…I can get better”
At the end of 4 weeks, doc came in to tell me what was up:
“Your weight is stabilizing, but you have more work to do…You have 1 of 2 choices:
1.) Stay here for 6-8 more weeks on tube feedings, or
2.) Inpatient Treatment
What do you choose?…