How much would you pay for a pair of shoes?

$350? I thought I just HAD to have them.

Black. Real leather. Peep toe. Comfortable. Paul Green shoes from Nordstrom.

I KNEW I shouldn’t have tempted myself, after I turned it over to see the tag, by putting them on, but c’mon now, they were the cutest ones in the entire store.

Exactly what I was looking for.

Slipping em on like Cinderella, I instantly felt like a million bucks. They’d be perfect with jeans or a little black dress! And last for years, I told myself…

Ok. So I like really had to have them! I thought.

And, turning to Saphire, my Nordstrom shoe department tour guide for the day, I said, “Yes!”

Two minutes and $377 later, the “perfect slippers” were mine…however, by the time I arrived home, a looming black buyer’s remorse cloud  began to set in.

Wait a second…did I really neeeeeeeeed these?

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As you know, there’s a difference between want and need.

We can want a new car, if we’re bored with our 6 year old Sedan…but do we need it?

We can want to fill our emotions and hungry hearts with ice cream and Whataburger, but is that beneficial?

We can want to feel more accomplished by checking off our “workout box” for the day, and dragging our butts to the gym, but is that truly meeting our need for self-care, self-compassion and fitness?

We can want to control our food in order to feel more controlled in our lives, but does that really give us the healthy control we desperately need?

All things are permissible, but not everything is beneficial.

Less than 24-hours later, I had $377 back in my bank account and more peace of mind that I didn’t just spend about two weeks’ worth of grocery money on a pair of shoes I may wear a handful of times each month (after all I do love my yoga pants).

Walking away from my now, returned purchase, I had an overwhelming peace of mind, knowing, I had $377 more back in my bank account—that should have never escaped in the first place.

What area(s) of your life are you compromising? Reaching out to try to fill a “need” you’ve concocted—but that doesn’t really exist?

I did this day in and day out in my eating disorder—constantly reaching, but never grasping the peace or achievement or end-goal I was trying to fill.

• Eating less than the day before.
• Going for longer without food.
• Trying fasting for the euphoria.
• Working out 6-7 hours each day.
• Eating the same exact thing every day—my comfort food.

For you, it may be binging, it may be purging, it may be shopping, drinking, sugar, coffee, shoes, binge TV watching, restricting—things that seem to bring instant gratification, but fade just as fast—not fully satisfying.

Like returning my $377 shoes, or laying down my 7-hour workouts, and my food rules about not eating fats, and avoiding carbs, it was only then that I was able to experience true freedom in those areas of my life.

After I retuned those $377 shoes, boy was I relieved!

I was relieved to have the $377 back in my bank account and realized that…I really didn’t need those shoes after all. It wasn’t until I was a little bit “distant” from the shoes—they weren’t in my hand, or on my feet, that I was able to see things more clearly.

What do you need to distance yourself from or lay down? What habits do you need to “return” in order to experience the freedom and peace of mind you think about… daily?

Distance, in this case, does not make the heart grow more fond—but instead helps you see things more clearly.

It may be tough to take the shoes back—at first—but once they are out of sight, and out of mind…the decision or choice doesn’t seem so hard after all.

Thrive Project

The slight edge change can make the biggest difference.

Changing ONE thing every so slightly to see dramatic, big results or gain gusto and momentum.

Do ONE thing today to help you get back to your needs—even though it may not “feel right” instantaneously…a little practice of delayed gratification and distance can yield showstoppingn results… You know what that means for you.

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