Day 1-Blog-“That Girl”
Have you ever wanted to be “that girl?”—That girl who has it all “together?”
Or perhaps, have you ever feel like your body is working against you?
You think: “If only I _____” then I’d be happy?
- If only I weighed 10 pounds less or more
- If only I didn’t have love handles or cellulite
- If only I was fitter, stronger, faster, or better
- If only I didn’t feel so bloated or constipated all the time
- IF ONLY I WAS “THAT GIRL,” THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE PERFECT!
We all have that nagging thing—I call it our “Achille’s heel” or “dangling carrot.” That thing that holds us back or keeps us striving forward, telling ourselves, “If” or “When” we are “THAT girl” ALL will be well.
I get it…big time.
My Back Story: Wanting to Be “That Girl”
For MOST of my life, I’ve wanted to be “THAT GIRL.”
You know: A mix between Blake Lively, meets Mary Kate & Ashley Olson, meets Carey Underwood, meets “Tone it Up,” meets CrossFit badass, meets ____ —any other beautiful girl that comes to mind.
In fact, for the latter first half of my life, I struggled with a severe eating disorder that left me constantly in pursuit of the ideal: Wanting to be “that girl.” (Check it out here)
It Begins: 9 Years Old
Wanting to be “that girl” all started around the time I was 9-years-old. What began as an “innocent diet,” however, quickly snowballed into a full blown eating disorder, in pursuit of becoming “that girl.”
Although I found recovery (over 15 years later), in the aftermath, I found myself struggling with ANOTHER health battle I NEVER saw coming—and that ironically, STILL, left me striving to be “that girl.”
I call it “Post Recovery Recovery”—what happens to your body AFTER spending MANY YEARS dieting and abusing it.
Post Recovery Recovery
In short: for the past 5-6 years, I’ve still found myself wrestling with my body at times.
Hating on it or telling it, “You’re too thin,” “You’re not pretty enough,” “You’re not healthy enough”…
To say the least, over the past 5-6 years, as my body has continued to heal from more than 20 years of damage (from both my eating disorder and my childhood processed foods diet), I’ve also dealt with my fair share of side effects from those years including:
- Metabolic Dysfunction & Insulin Resistance
- Autoimmune Diseases
- Hormone Imbalances (“adrenal fatigue”)
- IBS, SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), Dysbiosis (gut bacteria imbalances)
- Thyroid Problems
- Rude and hurtful comments and whispers from others who cut me down because of what I look like
—All of which have left me feeling frustrated with my body and, more than anything, wanting to be “That Girl.”
My Wakeup Call
While it’s not bad to want to look good and feel good, these frustrations with my body continued until the past 6 months when I had a BIG wakeup call that I actually am THAT GIRL, and she’s been inside me all along.
What do I mean?
If you’ve every wanted to be “That Girl,” read on to find out. This one is for you…
How “That Girl” Looks
She’s got a defined waist, toned legs, flat abs. Perfect hair, not one out of place, even after the wind blows.
She looks good in jeans and a t-shirt, Lululemon yoga pants or a little black dress—no matter what she’s wearing, she’s always dressed to kill.
At the lake, or at the beach, she can rock any swimsuit she so chooses—be it a frumpy one-piece that she turns into a ‘classy’ Jackie-O style, a sportswear Speedo—donning her femininely buff arms and legs, or a string bikini—who no one else on this planet could wear but her.
She can even make a brown paper sack look good.
How “That Girl” Moves
That Girl moves ever so gracefully in high heel pumps—as if they were Nike tenni-shoes, and any time she enters a room, heads always turns to see that woman who just walked through the door.
She’s fabulous, confident, and completely 100% at peace in her own skin—never a flinch of distaste for herself, but not conceited either.
She just is—she does her thing, nothing seemingly standing in her way.
She’s into CrossFit, Barre, yoga, spin or running—something she totally loves and moves, not out of hate for her body, but out of love—doing things that enliven her and give her energy. And when she’s working, she doesn’t sweat. She glows.
How “That Girl” Eats
She’s totally paleo, or into green juice, or vegan—something that makes her feel connected with nourishing her body and sustainability. She probably doesn’t feel pulled or tugged to or sneak a date with Ben & Jerry’s on her couch late at night.
How “That Girl” Hangs
That Girl has a long line of suitors who would kill to date her, or raise her children. She always has. And she doesn’t settle for anyone or neeeeed a man to define her. Whoever is by her side is special—someone that is able to hang with That Girl and doing big things in this world too—captain of the football team, president of his fraternity, hot musician, soccer stud, CrossFit badass, an investor, a Harvard-educated lawyer, a retired pro baseball player, an entrepreneur—of, now, multi-million dollar companies.
She also has a select handful of really amazing friends—Girls who are doing things in their lives. Growing non-profits, changing lives, starting something great. She moves and grooves with other movers and shakers.
That Girl’s Instagram has thousands upon thousands of likes, whether she posts a picture of her Acai Bowl at her favorite café, the scenery of her awesome vacay to the West Coast, kicking butt in spin class, rocking her bikini laughing with her friends on a Labor Day boat ride, or side-by-side with her fam on a visit home—people love to see what she’s up to.
How “That Girl” Does It All
That Girl has a lot on her plate—just like we all do—and then some, but for some reason, she seems to pull it off without flinching.
“I don’t know how she does it” other says.
She’s a med student, a pediatrician, a finance and accounting double major. She’s going to be the next Erin Andrews on ESPN, or talk show personality on the Today Show. She’s an accomplished blogger, jewelry designer, fashion merchandiser. She has her own business—or is looking into starting her own. She’s an active member of her sorority, or the Junior League; cheer squad or inspiring personal trainer; three kids or super nanny; Honors Society or booming medical or law practice in town; chair of the Booster Club, PTA or chair of the community service organization; a leader in student government or a social do-good non-profit movement.
That Girl doesn’t waste time. You won’t find her spending hours upon hours, sitting on a couch, watching re-runs of the Gilmore Girls, or staying up on her computer until the wee hours of the night Facebook stalking, or look up at the end of the day and think, “What did I do today?”
She’s engaged in living her life—not watching it pass her by.
That Girl totally, fully, completely has it ALL together, and we all, at one time or another, have wanted to be That Girl.
And try as we might…That Girl is always there, in the back of our minds.
How “That Girl” Has ALWAYS Been There (in the Back of Our Minds)
In middle school and high-school That Girl’s accomplishments and accolades looked different—but she still had it all together. And that’s what we wanted too. Come college and her 20-somethings, then on to 30’s and kid rearing, and even in her post-menopausal and golden years, That Girl is the Girl we always want to be—but never can seemingly live up to.
And we can’t help but think: How does she have it all—and have it all together—and I never do? Or, I am not good enough plays on repeat in the back of our minds.
In our efforts to be That Girl we’ve hired personal trainers and committed to 30 day bikini BODY tone ups.
We’ve gone on juice cleanses, tried the paleo diet, sworn off meat, downloaded My Fitness Pal to carefully calculate every calorie we consumed. We’ve restricted, then binged, then purged through exercise, fasting or with our head in a toilet.
We look in the mirror every time we pass by—to check to see if we look any better than the last time we looked. We’ve gone blonde, brunette, ombre—something in between.
We’ve plastered on fake lashes, laid in contraptions with harsh lights to get tan or been sprayed down while standing completely naked in a foreign shower to look more bronzed.
We’ve dragged our butts out of bed to go to the gym and slaved away not at just one cardio kickboxing class, but stayed around for Pump or Core right after to get our double dose of body chiseling.
We’ve run another mile in the name of justifying that muffin we ate for breakfast or that sushi roll we are thinking of eating for lunch. We’ve Google searched until late into the night—looking for the answers to our bloating, stubborn weight gain, metabolism or fast ways to get lean.
All to be That Girl.
How “That Girl” is Not Reality
It’s easy to believe that everyone else is much better than you.
Comparison is the thief of all joy and like a dangling carrot in front of our noses, That Girl is something we’ve constantly chased, but never seemed to catch.
You are not alone. Everyone else, just like you, has wanted to be That Girl (and it’s not just something that goes away after middle school).
“That Girl” doesn’t really exist—At least she doesn’t exist the way you think she does.
Because That Girl also has a “That Girl” that she wants to be too.
And That Girl really only exists when she first believes that she can actually be That Girl herself—That Girl who glows, has confidence, knows her worth and isn’t worried about being like the next person. That Girl who is present and fully committed to living her own life—not someone else’s. That Girl who realizes all she has (and wants) to be is the best version of herself.
How You Can Be “That Girl”
YOU can be That Girl when you stop striving and comparing.
When you make up your mind to STOP hating so much on yourself…or loathing your weight…or your style (or lack thereof)…or your frumpy hair.
When you stop fingerpointing all of your flaws, and instead, decide to genuinely, truly love yourself as you are—flaws, blemishes, quirks and all.
Just do you and when becoming “THAT GIRL” is made possible.