My Story: Fitness Obsessed

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Written By

Lauryn

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Expert Reviewed By

Dr. Lauryn Lax, OTD, MS

Dr. Lauryn, OTD, MS is a doctor of occupational therapy, clinical nutritionists and functional medicine expert with 25 years of clinical and personal experience in healing from complex chronic health issues and helping others do the same.

Fitness Obsessed | My Story: Fitness Obsessed

Do you ever look back on pictures from the “good ol’ days” and think: “If only I looked like THAT again.”

When I see this Senior Portrait, that was always my initial thought…

Until I had a reality check with myself years later: I actually was not happy (with my health or body) at all.

In other words: What you see is not always reality (No wonder we look at other people’s pictures on social media and think THEY HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER, but about 70% of us feel worse about OURSELVES).

Senior year of highschool is a blur.

The eating disorder had grown into an entirely new monster—often fighting with mom and dad about what went in my body; sneaking out of the house to get my 3rd workout in for the day; and eating ONLY protein powder, turkey patties, steamed veggies and Crystal Light still.

I wanted to be HEALTHY and FIT, and did not feel accomplished unless I worked out at least 3 hours each day, and ate lots of protein.

What was so wrong with that?

There were times I was unable to get my longer workout in the morning before school, so I’d sneak out of class to go workout in the football boys’ locker room…Every morning, before I ate breakfast, I HAD to complete AT LEAST 300 ab exercises (which soon grew to 1,000)…And I was grounded multiple times from my car because I was working out “too much”—even at times using some of my best friends’ cars to JUST GO GET MY WORKOUT IN.

I obsessively read “Oxygen Magazine” and dreamed about being a bikini body girl on the cover one day…

I Google searched things like: “How to lose fat and gain muscle,” “How carbs store body fat” and “Fruit good or bad?”…

I’d sneak away from my cheerleading sideline after our half-time performance to quickly scarf down a cold turkey patty and green beans in my car instead of eating anything at the game.

And I counted my macros obsessively.

Even though I was eating…I was STUCK and miserable.

The outside looking in from this picture only tells so much.

Desperate to get out of Little Rock, and my past, I applied to 13 different colleges—anywhere but home.

I got my ticket out to UT-Austin in Texas…On one condition: I’d get a doctor…

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